A controller can be a child, a parent, a grandparent, a spouse, a brother, a sister, a best friend, a church/ministry leader or anybody close to us. The controllers that affect us most are rarely strangers. We should remember that some of the people we are close to and respect right now might not continue to go on following the Lord at the same level we are. If you and I are not confident in the Lord, they might try to influence us to keep us in their comfort zone. They can also feel threatened by us growing in the Lord and may actually feel empowered by controlling or keeping us under their own influence.
Controllers are often obsessed with supervising the behavior of others. They are wrapped up in what others are doing in light of their own personal needs. Controllers can be very self-centered. Although outwardly they may appear confident, a person with a controlling spirit usually has low self-esteem, and many times is suffering from a spirit of rejection. This fear often causes them to try to control their environment and just about everyone in it. This is where Satan takes advantage of them by manipulating them to do his work through their own controlling behavior. In other words, demonic spirits use their behavior to get to you in an attempt to trick you out of the will of God for your life. Do you remember Peter in Matthew 16 trying to get Jesus to stop talking about the crucified like? Satan is always near when people try to control others.
We should note that all of us have some human tendency to control our environment and those close to us in some way. One minister noted that when we say “I Do” on our wedding day that even the best of us are actually saying; “I promise to manipulate you as painlessly as possible in order to get all my needs met”. That is why RKS is so necessary for every believer. Dead men have no needs for Satan to take advantage of. Remember, Jesus said that Satan had nothing “in” Him in John 14:30.
How Do They Control Others?
Emotional Control ‑ A controlling spirit may use a person who will over react or under react in order to keep their victim suspended and second-guessing how they should respond. They will use tears, anger, rage, threats, outbursts, moodiness, sulking, silence and even illness as instruments to manipulate others to do what they want. Getting and keeping the attention of others is a priority of controllers. By controlling the attention and actions of others they feel secure or that they are important and in control of their own destiny.
Spiritual Control ‑ A religious spirit in a leader will often try to control or dominate the people of God to make the believers in their ministry totally dependent on them and not the Lord. Using guilt or legalism, some leaders will keep God’s people insecure and dependant on them. True spiritual authority should make believers less dependent on them and more reliant on Jesus. Mature leaders hold all their people with open hands. Insecure leaders are often great oppressors (Proverbs 28:16). See 23 Ways Leaders can Dominate Their People.
This also happens from individuals within a ministry. Insecure Christians, in an effort to fulfill their personal needs in their life, will purposely or ignorantly pray or prophesy over people in an attempt to fulfill God’s will according to their understanding. To the young and unsuspecting Christian, these “soulish” Christians may appear loving and sincere at first. But they can mother (or smother) us so they can feel important and fulfilled. It’s difficult to recognize what they are doing at first because they appear to be so mature and concerned about our well-being. Sometimes we are just thrilled someone is taking an interest in us. See Creating Your Leader in Your Image.
Recognizing You Are Under Attack
If we desire to serve God, we can expect this demonic power will attack us at one time or another. We know we are under attack when we are suffering from depression, loss of vision and despair beyond our ability to explain. We may also experience a frequent infirmity or sickness. We can experience mental fatigue and suicidal thoughts along with fear and anxiety so thick it paralyzes us. We may also struggle with powerful and shameful, lustful thoughts. However, when we really know who we are in Christ and recognize we are being attacked, these powers will easily fall under our feet where they belong.
Excerpt from “Roadkill Seminary”